Have you ever thought about how much effort we put into making long-term promises to each other?
Take getting married.
Picture two people, very much in love.
Before any ceremony of any kind, here are two individuals who want to make sure their commitment lasts forever.
—
"I love you. How can we make sure we stay together?"
"How about we give each other something to symbolise our love and commitment - a ring?"
"Yes! It’s breathtaking. Thank you… but I still don't think that's enough though."
"How about we write vows to each other, and invite our closest loved ones to witness us making that promise?"
"I love that. But still...."
"How about we take lots and lots of photos and videos? Proof!"
"Not enough."
"How about we draw up a legal contract?"
"Definitely. But more, though."
"How about we invite a spokesperson of God himself, to make it all official - in fact, let’s make a promise to God ourselves, say it out load to the heavens?"
"Perfect… we really do want to stay together, don't we?"
"We do. I love you so much."
“I love you too.”
—
Take a moment to let it all sink in.
Not just all the steps we take to commit to each other - but why we take them?
Fewer South Africans get married every year.
In 2024, the country recorded just over 102,000 marriages - down close to 30% since 2015. Divorces, meanwhile, rose almost 9% in that same year to 24% of marriages ending in divorce.
It's tempting to read that as an institution dissolving.
But dissolving compared to what alternatives of forging a long-term relationship, exactly?
I look at all the steps we take - the ring, the vows, the witnesses, the photos, the contract, the priest - and I see something else.
A deep instinct and recognition that building a long-term partnership is exceptionally hard. More than that, that it's rare. Precious. Worth safeguarding at all costs.
So we stack up every check and balance we can find: symbolic, social, legal, holy.
We know it's going to be difficult. So, we call on all the support we can get.
That's not a critique of marriage. It's a comment on us as humans.
Marriage is simply the best tool we've built so far to improve our odds of sticking together.
Business partnerships aren't much different.
How often have you heard someone introduced as "my work husband" or "my work wife"?
This year marks 19 years of Fred, Mike and I being partners in Heavy Chef (Fred and Mike, even longer).
It is, without question, the single biggest reason Heavy Chef is still alive and well.
Curious how common that actually is, we asked small business owners a simple question: do you have a business partner?
Nearly half have never had one. Another one in five did, and don't anymore.
That's close to seven in ten small business owners who've either gone it alone or watched a partnership come apart.
Of those still in one, most are early days. Only 6% have made it past the ten-year mark.
Which tells you something, that the instinct to partner is there, but the staying power is rare.
A lot of entrepreneurs try, but don't make it stick.
It's precisely why, when it does work, it becomes the thing that carries a business through everything else.
We might not have the rings, the witnesses, or the holy promises to keep us accountable in business - maybe we should - but the need is clearly there.
Despite the not-insignificant chances of it not working out, we still pursue it.
Why?Because it’s valuable and precious… and it starts with two simple words: “I do.”
